Real vs. Fake

Many times when I exercise outdoors I see this...

Heart shaped leaves and twig crosses are my little love notes from God. They're always dropped perfectly in my path. I never have to search for them; they're just there.

This morning, I saw this...

If I looked hard enough, I could see a tiny indent on the leaf that could possibly count as a heart. The twigs are together and if I nudged the twigs just so, they'd form a cross. But you don't have to be a genius to see that this leaf and two little twigs are pale imitations of the "real" ones I've been given so many times. The leaf has a little indent, but it isn't really a heart. The twigs are together, but definitely don't form a cross.

Sometimes, when we are vulnerable, dry, or thirsty, we want to grab ahold of the first thing that will quench the thirst. We'll settle for something close to the real thing because we want it to be real. We're parched for whatever that thing is. But I believe God gives us the real thing enough times for us to know the truth, so we can't be deceived. Satan is the master of illusion and deception. He has the ability to make something look real and genuine, but if you know the real thing, you can tell where the master illusionist has gone wrong in his deceptive recreation.

My heart wanted to grab on to the feelings and emotions of receiving my little love notes from God. It's been a while since I've had a heart shaped leaf or a twig cross, primarily because I haven't been exercising outdoors (or exercising much at all, but that's a story for another day). God gave me a gift greater than a heart shaped leaf or a twig cross on my walk today; He showed me how to be alert, to really look for Him, and not to settle or be enticed by cheap imitations of His gift. He showed me to always grab ahold of the truth.

No matter how badly you want something, no matter how thirsty you get, never trick yourself or allow yourself to be tricked into settling for less than God's best for you. The more time you spend with the Author of perfection, the easier it will be to spot the imitation things that pale in comparison to the real, best thing.

-- Erin

Single and Overwhelmingly Loved

Sometimes, being single and having a Facebook account doesn't mesh for me.

For the most part, I can handle seeing the engagement announcements, the pictures of the sparkly ring on the left hand, the pictures of the new bride and groom, the sonogram pictures, the happy family pictures, etc.

And then there are times when I can't handle it.

I suppose it's no different for the man or woman who is struggling in their marriage who sees their friends post seemingly happy pictures of their marriage. Or the couple struggling with infertility and feels heartache when seeing pictures of their friends/family having fun with their children. Or the jobless man or woman being reminded daily that they don't have a job by their friends' incessant whining about the job they have but hate.

At the root of all these feelings, I think, are the opposites of contentment: jealousy and fear. Jealousy of what others have that I don't; fear that I won't ever get the things I want the most.

Instead of being content where God has me and the opportunities He's given me, there are times when I can't stop focusing on the opportunities He HASN'T given me.

I try hard to drive in the lane that God has me in, but every now and then I have the tendency to get over into someone else's lane. And when I do that, I crash. Big time.

No surprise there.

And so when I crash and burn, I do what I usually do... I go for a "therapeutic walk" have it out with God. I tell Him how I feel. I regroup. I apologize for my ingratitude. I thank God for the joys and successes He's bringing into my friends' lives. I thank Him for the story He's writing in my own life. I ask Him for patience as I read the story He's writing for me. I also ask Him to help me not to jump ahead and make conclusions about the chapters I haven't read yet.

God knows, at the heart of my discontentment, is that I just want to be loved and feel love. I want to be singled out by someone's love for me.

"You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh." Psalm 38:9

And so God, ever knowing and ever patient and ever kind and ever loving towards me, singles me out and shows me how much He loves me. Not because He has to. But because He wants to. Because He loves me.

When He goes to such great lengths to create a leaf shaped heart and drop it on the sidewalk in the perfect place for me to see like he did last night...

When He takes two little twigs and arranges them perfectly on the sidewalk in the shape of a cross, making sure that I'm looking down at the exact moment to see it, like He did for me last night...

...how can I not know that I'm loved? How can I not feel loved? A heart... the perfect example of feel-good-squishy-kind-of-love. A cross... the perfect example of sacrificial love. "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." - Romans 5:8

God does give us the desires of our heart; sometimes, it's just in ways we don't expect. But isn't that the fun of a relationship? Being surprised by your loved one with tangible expressions of love in ways and at times when you least expect it?

I'm no different from my engaged/married friends. They have someone to surprise them with sweet gifts and reminders of their love. I always appreciate it when my Someone takes time to surprise me too... and He literally moves heaven and earth to do it!

-- Erin


PS - If you're married or have a special someone and haven't surprised that someone with a gift in their "love language" in a while, would you do that for me today?